(transposed to the third person to appear more mature *grins cheerfully*)
well...alisa did stuff and is still doing stuff. only now she has two boys crazy enuff to want her as their mommy. hey, at least she tried to warn them, so her job is done. she doesn’t like to capitalize, partially because she likes how lower case letters look visually, but mostly out of laziness. please don't judge. it could be you. and she would say, hey. you're alright, buddy. you're ok in my book. now c'mere for a hug. the hug might be pushing it. air kiss? you are strangers, after all, with only a mutual love of poor grammar.
she lives for a world full of controllable anatomically correct, android men programmed to meet her specific feminine needs (wink, wink, nudge, nudge with a big waggle of the eyebrows). who look like the rock. and ian somerhalder. and idris elba. and that's it she promises. variety. gotta have variety, right?
but alas...apparently that exists only in johanna lindsey's genius mind. so until then, she enjoys her incredibly warped sense of humor. she reads tons of erotica and romantic, drippy goo that makes her heart go pitter patter. then she thought, hey. what, she said to herself. (softly, of course, so no one finds out she is indeed, 2 nuts short of a fruitcake) maybe you should write this stuff too. maybe someone will like it and maybe buy it. so she said, huh, you think? then she said, well...yeah, i wouldn't have suggested it...(inserts sarcastic tone) and then she was like lose the attitude, ok? then she was all, would you just shut up and write, already? sheesh! and she did. :)
Tyler Malone: Life as a rock star is anything but boring. Money, power and fame is an addictive drug I crave that gets me off...every time. Millions of adoring fans, willing to do anything just for me to glance their way. What's not to love? All I ever wanted was the one who wouldn't. She's the one person I crave more than the life, more than the money and power. More than anything...
Danny Blake: Some smart-assed reporter nicknamed me the "The Dark Prince," because I shun the limelight. I prefer being behind the scenes, always have. Fame is now a choke hold around my neck, a dark, lonely road that never seems to end. The one light in my life is her. The person who matters above everything else. At one time I thought we could be happy together, but I lost that chance when I married someone else...
Lena Roman: Owner of the infamously notorious nightclub Sadist, head of a massive PR empire; nothing "Queen Midas" touches doesn't turn to gold. Fiercely passionate, loyal and headstrong, she is the woman who loves them both, with a fiery heat that's all consuming. Choosing between her best friend and the one she stupidly allowed at one time to claim her heart wasn't going to be easy...but she had to, right? You can't love two people at once...
Lena watched Reese walk away and was silent.
Stupid Reese. She thought she was so smart. What did she know, anyway?
Nothing. No. Thing. Did she know.
Plus, she had toilet paper stuck to her shoe. She thought about calling her back to tell her, then figured Reese deserved it for the horrible and insensitive way she treated her.
Having convinced herself that being bummed out was indeed totally and completely the machinations of Reese’s evil, manipulative ways and of course no fault of her own, Lena felt immensely better.
She wondered why more people didn’t blame others for all their screw ups. It was certainly liberating. Not to mention a great freaking morale booster. Lena smiled and downed the rest of her drink in one gulp.
Precisely the time she felt strong, muscular hands wrap around her waist from behind and squeeze. She sputtered and immediately began to choke on her drink.
As it burned its way down the path of absolutely the wrong pipe she started coughing as well. In the midst of her trying to breathe and get her own pipes in order, she prayed for a huge metal one to appear out of thin air along with an invisible hand to beat him soundly with.
Maybe it would crush his skull.
Only if she were very lucky.
She gasped for air as Dion rushed to get her some water. As she tried to stop coughing and slowly sip, she resisted the urge to grind her pointy stiletto on the foot of the one person who managed to amuse, antagonize and annoy her, often all at the same time.
She didn’t turn around, but then, what was the point? She knew he wasn’t going anywhere.
When her voice returned to some semblance of normal she finally spoke, sounding raspy.
“You have five seconds to appeal to my sense of kindness and decency to convince me to not carve up your genitals and feed them to cannibals. Starting now.”
Tyler grinned down at her. “Well for starters….you hate the sight of blood.”
“No, I said I hated the sight of my own blood. Because then I would be bleeding. And that would make me sad. Seeing you suffer on the other hand…now that would make me happy and glad. Not so sad, thought.”
She added the last part for him. Tyler loved rhyme time.
“Besides. My security team can take care of any…unfortunate events? Can we call it that? Yes? Awesome. So where was I? Unfortunate events? Thank you. So anywho. Security team. Commencing with the carving. Your genitals. Unfortunate events, as the mob says. That might occur. To you. Sergeant Stupid.”
She stopped long enough to rub Dion’s arm soothingly, assuring him she was alright. Dion frowned murderously at Ty and made the cutting motion with his hand, slicing it across his neck in the universal sign for I love you, truly madly and deeply. At least that’s how Ty took it.
Ty put his middle finger in his mouth and sucked it out slowly. Dion was offended at the obscenely erotic gesture. Lena ignored them both and continued.
“One word from me and you’ll be singing soprano the rest of your very short life. So that would be a big, fat, next?”
Tyler grinned, showing a Colgate smile with rows of dazzling white teeth. Even more amazing considering his lifestyle and the junk food he ate on a regular basis.
One of life’s great mysteries.
That and why fat, balding European men wore Speedos on the beach.
“You love me. Additionally, do you know any cannibals?”
Lena already felt her anger dissolving, but she had to at least pretend to not let him off the hook. “This remains to be seen, jackass. I’m sure your groupies have eaten more than their share of human flesh. Perhaps consensually, knowing you and your other slutty male counterparts you call band mates. But you get my point. One more try.”
“Baby. You always say the sexiest things.” Ty swiveled her bar seat around to face him and kissed her on the lips, his touch surprisingly gentle.
But then Ty was always a contradiction in terms.
His lips were soft, warm and a little squishy. He’d been drinking. He always got extra touchy feely when he was sloshed.
Lena was not amused.
Her lady parts might have been. Slightly.
Maybe someone giggled inside.
Maybe it was her.
She wasn’t telling.
She refused to give him any kind of satisfaction.
She gave a quick nod to Nikko, the head of security and he and the other bouncers retreated. She figured she’d better had called them off before they yanked Ty by his throat and put a real hurting on him.
The things she did for her friends.
“None of what you just said is reason not to hurt and maim you terribly. And I don’t appreciate choking and coughing up a lung because you think it’s fun to scare the shit out of me.” She scowled and pushed him away.
“Oh come now. Surely you don’t want me dead before you can experience all this?”
Ty moved her hand over his zipper and after hesitating a fraction of a second over his semi-hard erection, she pulled her hand away.
Jesus Christ. Had he always been that large and she just never noticed?
Lena blinked and wisely ignored her own question.
Ty started laughing and pretended not to notice the brief pause.
“Cut it out, Ty.”
He grinned. She on the other hand was not pleased.
“Ok, ok…I’ll behave.”
“And as impressed as I am with your slightly drunken, always less than witty repartee, why are you here? Don’t you have autographs to sign, groupies to bed and puppies to kiss, possibly in that order?”
“Hey now. What’s this? Aren’t you glad to see your best friend in the whole wide world? A best friend, who might I remind you, took time off Retribution’s sold out tour to grace your little club with his presence?”
Lena rolled her eyes. “Here we go. And thank you for telling me the name of your band. I might not have known it otherwise.”
Oh, but Ty was just warming up.
“A best friend who forgives you constantly when your security team, on your order I might add, is constantly trying to kill him at the slightest provocation or whim of your violent, bloodthirsty little heart?”
So he had noticed.
This warmed her soul.
She smiled showing lots of her own flashy white teeth. Maybe a little wolfishly, but her good mood was restored.
“Well, alright. I’ll forgive you. And my club is fabulous, you silly boy.” She gave an impish grin and giggled, fascinated he could possibly think otherwise.
To her, everything she did was fabulous.
“You know I was never going to let them truly kill you anyway. Just beat you with horrendous malevolence is all. A few broken ribs, maybe a fractured spleen and perhaps the finishing touch of three or four loose teeth, but that’s it. Scout’s honor.”
She held up her hand and beamed at him, earlier transgressions all but forgotten.
Ty eyed Lena and decided it did no good to wonder about her sanity. He always knew she was nuttier than a fruitcake anyway.
It was why he loved her so much.
Love. Now there went a four letter word he always avoided.
Except when it came to her, of course. She was always his one exception.
To practically every rule he had.